Brian Castelli – With His Heart

My commute to work stretched out in front of me like a scroll. I didn’t feel like listening to the teaching mp3’s I had loaded in my player–too heavy. I’d had a bad night and a worse morning. I felt overwhelmed. It seemed like nothing was going right. I felt alone, like no one else could really understand. I reached into the center console and pulled out a Mark Shultz CD. I hoped that a bit of music would lift my spirits.

I inserted the CD into the dash-mounted player. Track 1 played for a moment. No. Skip to track 2. Then 3. Then 4. Ah! That was the one. I Have Been There. One of the choruses reads this way:

Oh I have been there
I know what fear is all about
Yes, I have been there
And I am standing with you now
I have been there
And I came to build a bridge oh so this road could
Lead you home
Oh I have been there

God has been there. He does understand my situation. He understands, not in some abstract, aloof way, but as God-made-man in Christ Jesus. Even when I feel alone, like there’s no one who has been in my shoes before, I can know that He has been there.

I brushed a tear from my eye as I drove. Thank you, Jesus.

(Originally published May 2007)

This week I was on hand during the youth meeting at church, and the youth pastor did a great job talking about Romans 7 and 8. This is the passage where Paul writes about his struggles – how even though he’s been following Jesus for years he does what he doesn’t want to do [what he knows is wrong] and doesn’t do what he wants to do [what he knows is right]. Our pastor talked about the struggle we have between doing right and doing wrong. The most compelling part of the talk to me was when he started talking about alternatives to nasty behavior and music. He said that instead of dumping a lot of garbage into our brains through what we do, what we listen to, and who we hang around with, we should pour on the good stuff. If we fill ourselves with God’s word, good Christian music, and good Christian friends, we will displace those things that draw us away from God.

I must admit that it’s those times when I’m studying to teach a Bible class that I tend to do better. When I’m filling myself with God’s word, I am much less likely to struggle with temptation and sin. It’s like putting on armor.